Extra Ordinary Me

If it wasn’t going to be the Chargers I wanted it to be the Saints. My father was born and raised in New Orleans, as was his father, and his father, and maybe even his father. I have wonderful memories from my childhood and early adulthood which include red beans and rice, Mardi Gras beads, king cakes, and hurricanes (the kind you drink). I’m happy for the Saints and the city of New Orleans. And I am having fun watching (reading?) my cousins going crazy on Facebook…. WHO DAAATTT!!! (But, next year.. Bolts all the way baby!!)

I’ve had a headache for 3 weeks.

I had to take an important exam last week. Leading up to it I was full of (nervous) energy, then as soon as it was over I felt a little… depleted. I’m not sure I’ve fully recovered yet. This post might reflect that.

My to-do list is overflowing. Some boring, mundane tasks and others that are more fun, but challenging. In about a month I will begin another phase of my education, one that will require more time and a whole lot of confidence and the willingness to make mistakes.

For many years, as a stay-at-home mom, I didn’t require much of my brain. I was rarely given the opportunity to go outside of my comfort zone (except when I learned to snowboard which is probably why I enjoyed it so much). And now… I’m asking myself for more. I’m a little bit nervous, but I have a feeling I will be successful.

At the same time, I have mommy duties and worries out the wazoo. Course, that’s a lifelong to-do list by itself. (One that I cherish.)

And then, there are other things.

And this is life.

I exchanged a few emails recently with the Neutral Monk (remember him?). I sent him a math joke (who knew math could be funny?) and he wrote back saying that he really did enjoy it because that very morning he was taking life far too seriously and needed a laugh. I wrote back to say that he was the one who told me, re: life, you’re born, you have a few meals, and then you die, no need to get so worked up about it. He replied, “It is nice when the lessons we plan for others return and teach us something.”

Isn’t it, though?

So, what should I have for breakfast?

I can’t remember how old I was when I first heard Simon And Garfunkel but there was a time when I listened to their music a lot and the memories of whatever time that was are good ones.

My grandfather was a very devoted Catholic all of his life. Once, many years ago, I told him that I was no longer Catholic and he said, “You are still a Catholic, you just aren’t a very good one.”

Just before my Grandfather died he sent my newborn son a small crucifix in a box and said, “I know you aren’t raising him Catholic, but I just want to be sure all the bases are covered.” And so, I kept it.

Over the years, the crucifix, still in its box, found its way to to a drawer or a closet shelf or some out of the way forgotten corner and began to gather dust.

My daughter was apparently rummaging through all of these forgotten corners because last night, she walked up to me holding the crucifix and said, “What’s this, Mommy?”

While my children do understand that there are different religions in the world and they do get the basic gist, neither of them have been exposed, in their little lives so far, to the details of really any religion and especially not Christianity. So, I explained to her that it is a Christian symbol… Jesus on a cross… and that it was a gift from her great grandfather to her big brother.

She held onto it tightly and said, “I want to put this in my treasure box. It looks like a trophy!” So, I told her that it was her brother’s and she’d have to ask him first.

Course, my son has no idea what a crucifix is either, and generally has no interest in small “trophies” and “treasures”. He is also what you might call a… smart aleck. So, when she asked him, using her most enthusiastic tone, “Can I have this, please?” He took one look at it, rolled his eyes, and said, “Oooh, a T with a person hanging off of it. Thrilling! Go ahead.”

I found a book on my bookshelf recently called Maximum Self-Esteem: The Handbook for Reclaiming Your Sense of Self-Worth it is a very silly looking book with some fancy butterflies on a pink cover. I have absolutely no recollection of buying this book, and can’t imagine, if I did, why it appealed to me. I have nothing against self-help books, I’ve read a few with a grain of salt, but this one in particular looks and sounds rather stupid. Nevertheless, I picked it up and skimmed through it. Well guess what? This book contains some nice little gems of wisdom. Seriously, it does. I’m not kidding. Listen to this:

The biggest problem facing our civilization is not war, hunger, poverty, or disease. Nor is it any of the other commonly mentioned problems we hear about daily in the news. Instead, it is our refusal to accept responsibility for our own lives.

See what I mean? Amen. But wait! There’s more… (on religion)

All they can do is testify they were told certain beliefs were true by people who did not themselves know they were true but who believed they were because they had been assured of it by others, who had been told by others, who in turn had been told by still others, and so on. In other words, as far as the validity of certain religious beliefs is concerned, no one alive knows for sure they are true. Despite people’s insistence that their religious beliefs are accurate, they are unable to support their contention with the tiniest shred of proof.

The book is full of these! The author writes about how nobody’s opinion of us matters except for ours, because if we rely on another’s approval of us, “… we put ourselves in the ridiculous position of having to ask people permission to like ourselves!”, about how we can choose, if we want, to avoid experiencing negative emotions, about how people (including ourselves) try to use manipulation and verbal traps on others in an attempt to get them to do what they want them to do.

… years of dealing with manipulators has given us the false idea that we must provide people with some kind of justification if we want to avoid doing what they want us to. This is a complete fallacy. We are not required to provide explanations, reasons, or excuses for not wanting to do something. It is enough that we do not want to. Period.

Course, this book resonates with me mostly because somewhere in the deep, dark recesses of my mind I already believe this. This guy isn’t telling me anything new, or anything I don’t already know. He’s just putting it all into a well thought out, organized, pretty pink book and making money from it. It’s never the reading that changes people’s lives, it’s the doing.